TONE OUR LANGUAGE
By Barbara Stepp, NLP, DHE® Master Trainer, Clinical Hypnotherapist
IN OUR PREVIOUS newsletters, we talked about our language, the words we think and speak. We said that words create our reality. If we don’t say it, we don’t get to do it or we don’t have to do it. What a concept!
INTONATION PATTERNS or how we use our words is vitally important. Tone is the quality of our voice. When we speak to others we are bathing them in sound waves. Pleasant tone, Pleasant sound waves = positive response within our communication.
OUR NLP DEFINITION of synesthesia is the process of overlap between the three primary representational systems, (visual, auditory, kinesthetic), characterized by phenomena like see-feel circuits in which a person derives feelings from what they see and hear-feel circuits in which a person derives feelings from what they hear. Any two sensory modalities may be linked together.
SO HOW WE SAY what we say is key. If we say something positive in an unpleasant tonality, we are likely to get an pleasant response because of the hear-feel Synesthesia.
SOME OF US HAVE experienced unpleasant feelings in a particular situation because a person’s tonality reminded us of tone of voice from the past that was initially anchored to to unwanted feelings or sensations. We call that cross-filing. We are all in charge of our responses. Here are some suggestions;
1. Interrupt your own pattern by saying “Stop!” Cancel that. Take a deep breath, exhale slowly and realize you are in today, 2015.
2. Smile internally and get curious. Ask yourself a productive question, like, “How can I outgrow that pattern?”, “How can I respond differently?” Or “What’s the best thing for me to do right now?” In this way you can take charge of your own response.
DAVE DOBSON, PHD, father of No Fault Psychology™ and Other than Conscious Communication™, suggested that we develop the skill to ask a question in pleasant tone instead of choosing to feel yucky. For example, “When I heard the tone of your voice, has what you said, I felt a fear sensation and demeaned. Was that your intention?” It works!
THE SAME PRINCIPLE applies to talking to ourselves in our inside (thinking) or outside voice (speaking) Some of us can rag on, criticize or demean ourselves. Take a deep breath, exhale slowly, smile and get curious. Dr. Richard Bandler, father or NLP™, tells us to change the tonality to an outrageous humorous, sultry voice. NLP™ calls it a Break State; NFP™ calls it a pattern Interrupt…..both with the same result. It will change the way you feel about yourself and how you respond to the silly words.
DAVE OFTEN SAID,”Richard Bandler is the true genius of NLP.” Richard said, ” Dave was the most natural and gifted Hypnotherapist I ever met.”. And I’ve had the Honor of being taught by them and working with them for many years.
Dave’s work is unique and simple, as is Richard’s. In my opinion NLP™ and No Fault Psychology™ work together extremely well, though taught in separate courses.
You can learn/do more by experiencing Licensed NLP Practitioner™ in our last one of the year, March 22-29, 2015
Experiencing Simply Hypnosis NFP™, OTCC™ Fun Shop™ on May 27-31 will give you some outstanding communication skills.
Both are certification courses. Get more details HERE